Anyone that has read my last posts probably came to the conclusion that I am a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve…wrong. I am actually the complete opposite. I actually only wear my heart on the pages. Recently, my girl friends were talking to me about relationships and asked me how do they become like me? What they mean is how can they not get hurt; how can they not let the decision of whether a guy likes them or not alter their lives. Which was all very true; it is how I acted. I am single, I am happy, and my friends envied it.
When I would go into my room at night and think about all of these things my friends would say, I realized that this is not something to envy of me. Don’t get me wrong…if you are single and happy and it is for healthy reasons, all power to you! BUT if you are like me and you are in an unhealthy stage where you are unable to love.. this is not something to boast.
It is hard to change my ways, it is hard to realize that having a hard heart isn’t being “strong” .. it’s being weak.
I will leave you guys with this quote:
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it in tact, you must give your to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
-C.S Lewis “The Four Loves”